The Puppet Girl

Shelley LeHew

     "You are a bad girl Matilda!  How naughty of you to say such cruel and dirty filth things about your father!  And then the worst, to blame him for them!  Your father is the best one in the world!  He would never touch or harm you in any way Matilda!  Why, little missy, you are his golden haired princess and get more attention from him then I ever do!"
     "But Mommy, Daddy hurts me so bad and tells me not to tattle on him because no one would believe me."
     "Matilda Jane, if you do not quit lying to me I will have to punish you!"
     "Mommy, please believe me!  Make Daddy stop hurting me!"
"Enough of these lies!  You stay in this closet until you quit lying about your father!"
     "No!  No! Don't put me in there!  Voices talk to me!  They put things into my head that are bad!  Mommy no, please, I love you!  I won't be bad anymore!  Mommy, please……."
     Slam.  Total darkness.

Hush little baby now don't you cry
Hush little baby now don't cry
Hushlittle babynow don'tyou cry -
Daddy'sgoingtobuyyouamockingbird
andifthatmockingbirddoesn'tsing,
Daddyisgoingtobuyyouapuppet
andifthatpuppet...

     "You wait and see, the truth will come out and all will pay for their meanness!"

* * * * 

     Golden rays of simulating warmth filled the office of Doctor David Devils at the St.  Michael's Children's Psychiatry Institution.  He had acquired his position due to his family holdings and investments, but mostly because of the name.  Head of St.  Michael's was a family tradition.  Dr.  David's grandfather, Gerald Devils had establish the hospital.  The story behind this had remained a mystery, like hidden skeletons in the closet.  He could really care less, as long as he had a title, money, and a job.  And that Dr.  David did.  The atmosphere of the office was as isolated and technical as the individual that sat behind the large, massive, wood carved mahogany desk.  The stark white of the walls glared as the sun penetrated through the bay window that was centered in the middle of it.   The room, large and impersonal held two other objects of furniture, a black metal filing cabinet and a black leather overstuffed chair.  Flipping through the files, Dr.  David found the one labeled Carol Marie Jacobs.  She was the first patient he had really had a bad encounter with.  She was a very rebellious teenager with a lot of hatred and confusion inside her.  Dr.  David was had assigned Nurse Nelson to her case.  If anyone could bring Carol Marie around, it was her.  Gathering his files, he headed for the third floor nursing station.
      Approaching the nursing station, Dr.  David quickly glanced at the figure behind the observation glass in the Purple surveillance room.  Very dainty and lady-like sat Carol Marie playing tea party with her puppet. Carol Marie was delicate and tiny in body structure.  Her long golden ringlets carelessly framed her small pointed face.  Carol Marie's mouth was of the deepest crimson color and rose-shaped.  Her small upturned nose added a touch of rebellion to her character.  It was her large oval shaped, crystal blue eyes that haunted Dr.  Thelma.  Carol Marie's eyes held no spirit or live in them.  They were dead and lifeless.  For hours on end, Carol Marie would stare into emptiness, like she was mesmerized or in a hypnotic trance.  This morning was the first time Dr.  David had seen any sign of life in Carol Marie.  Reaching the nursing station, Dr. David went behind the long triangular nursing desk that housed the files and important document on all the patients on the third floor and proceeded towards the conference room. 
 

* * * *

     "Oh puppet, I dream night after night about me endlessly crying.  My efforts to save myself are useless.  I awaken trembling and frightened.  Then I dream of a image who is hurting me!  Oh, I try to stop it, but my screams are silenced by his devilish laughter!"
     "May I have some more cookies and tea Carol Marie?  They are so yummy!"
 "Are you not listening to me!  I said, I see an image, a dark one, he seems so familiar, yet distorted.  Let me think."
     "Carol Marie you know who the dark image is, admit it.  It is your DADDY coming to get you again and again and again...!"
     "No! No! It is not my daddy!" Carol Marie gasped horrified, "It can't be him, it just doesn't fit with who he is!  He is so sweet and loving, always dotting on me like I am his pretty little princess!  Stop it!  Stop putting bad ideas in my head!".
     "He will not go away or quit hurting you until you kill him!"

* * * *

     "Good morning Nurse Nelson and Nurse Bertha, I am glad to see you are both here for shift report."  said Dr. David.
     Nurse Nelson was the day shift nurse.  She was dwarf like in appearance with stumpy arms and legs, which caused her to wobble when she walked.  She was soft-hearted and had all the love in the world to give to the patients.  Nurse Nelson was a nurturing, motherly figure and worn her heart on her shoulders.  Whenever any patient needed that extra loving touch, Nurse Nelson was there, no matter how aggressive or combative they were.  Her words soothed all the pain, hatred, and evil that existed in their abusive worlds.  Nurse Betha was the opposite.  She was an obese, elderly women.  Her thinning white hair was pulled back into a very tight bun, giving her the appearance of a stern, nasty person.  Her eyes were deep set and had tiny slits as openings.  Her enormous potato nose gave her a manly look. 
     "If everything is in order nurses, I will begin my patient status reports."
     "Well, honestly, Dr. David there is a minor matter of Carol Marie.  See, she is not sleeping through out the night.  She is continually up, pacing the floor and talking to that puppet Nurse Nelson gave her.  It is like she believes that her puppet is alive and talks to her like a normal human being.  Then when the puppet does not answer back, Carol Marie starts to freak out, beating on the puppet." commented Nurse Bertha.
     "Oh, Bertha, you are so temperamental.  Carol Marie would not harm anyone.  She is a wounded child, hiding from the world that has treated her badly.  Well, if you would take the time to get to know her, your opinion would change.  It was just yesterday that I took her in some gifts for her puppet.  Carol Marie was a perfect angel.  Her and I played tea party all afternoon between my rounds."
     "You deal with her in the daylight.  I deal with her in the moonlight.  She is a creature of the night!  She is up all night, pacing like a caged animal!  And when she does fall asleep, it is very restless.  Then at 2:00 am rounds, I continually hear this whimpering that turns into a blood curtling animal cry of pain!  Talk about scaring the bee-Jesus out of me!"
     "Nurse Nelson, do you notice any changes in Carol Marie doing the day?" 
"No, she is always in the Purple Room playing tea party with the pupet I gave her." 
     "Why did you give her that stupid puppet anyway Nelson?"
     "It was a way of getting Carol Marie to open up, to trust something.  She is beginning a journey into the world of repressed memories.  She was intensely sexually abuse by her father starting at a young age.  Because she was so young and frightened when it happened, Carol Marie has buried all memory of that abuse.  Now, she is a walking time bomb of abuse, ready to explode at any moment.  She is becoming ready to face what has happened to her.  Carol Marie's views of like, sanity, insanity, everything in her new world will be changed.  She will be torn with all kinds of doubts about her emerging reality."
     "Enough said.  Shall we resume our morning rounds ladies."  Dr.  David said.

* * * * 

     The night shift had gone pretty smooth for Nurse Bertha.  Slowly and leisurely pushing the med cart, Nurse Bertha rounded the corner.  The only patient that needed meds at 2:00 A.M. was Carol Marie.  For some reason tonight, she had not done her nightly ritual.  Opening the heavy oak door of her room, Nurse Bertha saw Carol Marie.  Her puppet was no were to be seem.  Usually it slept with Carol Marie every night.  Oh well she thought, maybe it was the presence of the puppet that made Carol Marie act the ways she had been lately.  Curiously snooping around, Nurse Bertha heard that whimpering cry.  The rod iron bed structure began to rattle, slowly, then faster, then faster.  A blood curdling animal cry shrieked, Nurse Bertha stood frozen in time.  Horrified, she gathered her nerve-racked wits and slowly edged her way towards the oak door.  Before she reached it, from under Carol Marie's bed sprang something. 
     "No!  No!  Noooooooooo..."  Nurse Bertha's wailing cries of help silenced and no more was heard.

* * * * 

     Dr.  David pushed the security buzzer for the third time.  This was really odd, Nurse Berthe was usually sitting at the end of the hall to let him  in at 5:00 am every morning.  He wrestled around in his large, over packed, book bag.  Finally he fingers identified the keys.  Unlocking the door and admitting himself, Dr.  David stood paralyzed.  On the wall that lead to the elevator was little red-hand marks, with splashes of large red coloring on the floor.  These images were like a map leading to the stairwell.  Flowing the marks, he smelt blood in the stair well.  The  trail stopped outside the third floor.  Hesitating, Dr.  David carefully opened the door.  Looking from side to side, he proceeded into the hallway.  The only light shinning was the dim crack at the bottom of Carol Marie's room.  Heading towards the beam of light, he reached the door and put his ear to listen for movement or voices.  Inside she heard Carol Marie crying and whimpering. 
     "Hush little Carol Marie now don't you cry.  Hush Carol Marie, don't you cry, Nurse Matilda Jacobs Nelson is going to buy you a mocking bird.  See, I know you did not hurt anybody.  It was I that killed my daddy Gerald Devils for being mean to me.  And Nurse Bertha, well she was my mother and would never protect or believe me.  She had to go.  Now, were was I Carol Marie?  Hush little baby, now don't you cry..."

     Doctor David opened the door, there sat Nurse Nelson holding Carol Marie trying to give her of blood with motherly love.

* * * *

     In the halls of St.  Michael's a soft lullaby can be heard in the early morning hours,

Hush little baby now don't you cry
Hush little baby now don't you cry
Hush little girlies, Matilda is going to bring you a 
little puppet…

     The great mystery behind St.  Michael's is finally solved.  Dr.  David's grandfather, Gerald, had sexually abused his daughter Matilda, Nurse Nelson.  She flipped out from the abuse her mother (Nurse Bertha) and father did to her.  In his quilt, Dr.  Gerald built St.  Michael's to make all of it up to his beloved,  golden haired princess, Matilda.
 

Acknowledgments

The greatest thank you goes to Wanda and Peggy in Computer Services for always being patient and fantastic!  I would like to thank my Grandmother Mary LeHew for giving me the gift of writing and the love for English and Literature!  The world's biggest thank you goes to my loving daddy, Ken LeHew, who has always believed in me, no matter what!  This man is the greatest father in the world.  I love him with all my heart!  Lastly, I thank Gary, my boyfriend, for being so supportive and understanding, and for being my shoulder of support! A very special thanks to Norm and Carol Stordahl, for the inspiration and guidance in my writing and always listening to my stories through all the stages.  Terry Heller, thank you for you're teaching knowledge and support in this class!  Without these people in my life, I would not be were I am today!  I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!  I AM SHELLY, HEAR ME ROAR!  Thank You Gary, I Love You To The Ends Of The World And Back!