Nightmare On First Avenue
by
Jennifer Kilburn
      I stood there and tried my hardest to remember exactly how it is that I got here. Nothing came to me though. All I could think of was the intense feeling inside that being here was a mistake. I stood there and looked at this room that seemed to take on tw o dimensions. It was large and made me feel insignificant and scared. Yet at the same it seemed like such a small place to have so many things in. The scariest thought was that I was supposed to be here with three other creatures for an extended period of time. For the moment I was alone. I felt as though this would be the safest time to explore.

      One of the first things to catch me attention was the dungeon type lighting. My insides shook as I consider what might lie ahead. I slipped my bags under the bed, as I was too emotionally exhausted to even think about unpacking. I had decided to lie down for a nap before I continued with any further explanation. Only I didn't quite make it to that point. As I slide the last back underneath I heard a little voice which exclaimed, "Ouch! Hey buddy watch what you're doing there."

      While I tried to get my heart back to its normal rhythm I contemplated what my next move would be. For some reason or another I heard my mothers voice in the back of my head saying don't do it. So of course as a college student out on my own, I did the e xact opposite. So I carefully and confidently, knowing that for the first time in my life I was about to prove my mother wrong, peered under the bed. All I could make out in the dark were a pair of eyes attached to a hairy cotton ball looking thing. It ha d really large ears and rabbit like teeth. This was far from normal. After I had let out those few piercing screams I began to develop my plan. I remembered something I had heard somewhere before. I couldn't remember all of it. It had something to do wi th fears. The question was what to do about them. Was it run from them, or confront them, maybe I was suppose to click my heels together three times and say "there's no place like home".

      Before I had the chance to make my decision I heard the front door open. I figured that at least I wouldn't have to suffer this alone any more. I watched as a rather large bird looking thing walked through the door. I had never seen any type of bird that big in my life. I didn't know what to do. Luckily for me I didn't have to speak first. I stood there stunned as I heard it say, "Well by the looks of you I would say that you must be the new roommate." I felt like saying, "By the looks of you I would say you were the new Mascot for Vegetable Loops." But I kept my mouth shut. If it came to a duel between the two of us, it would soon be over for me. I was struck with awe as I heard it say, "They told me you would be a little different, but I think that was an understatement." I found this to be a bit on the ironic side but I had bigger issues right now.

      "So what family are you from?" That was not exactly the question I expected. "The Kilburns," I carefully replied. "Squawk, Squawk." Get out of here I don't want you here. You are simply too dangerous. The very last thing I need is to wake up in the middle of the night to find you in the process of killing and burning me. Do I look like a chicken to you? Do you think you can simply kill me for your pleasure? Would you like my eggs too?" I was trying my best to hold back the tears. This was certainly not the place I thought it would be. In fact it was bordering on unlivable. I quickly ran into the hall. If that thing d idn't want me here then I was not going to over stay my welcome.

      As I got to the hallway I spotted a large giraffe. But this place was weird and I didn't know what it really was. I couldn't take it any more, the tears came pouring out like a river. I held my breath as it approached. "Sweetie what ever is the matter wit h you?" Oh course at this point my first reaction was to continue running. I didn't seem as though running was going to get me anywhere. So I stood there and took my chances on the giraffe. I figured the worst thing that could happen to me is that it woul d eat me. I take it back maybe that would be one of the best things that could happen to me. After all at least I wouldn't have to continue on with this adventure.

      I quickly explained all that had just happened. The response was remarkable. "First let me introduce myself to you. My name is Janey Giraffe and I live across the hall here. The person you just met is Des DuHawk. She is your roommate but her beak is uglie r then her bite. What she meant when she asked about your family was not in terms of your last name but rather it was along the lines of genus and species. Please don't be frightened by what you saw under the bed. It was simply a Dust Bunny. There are a l ot of those here. The best thing to do is to simply respect their space and then they will respect yours. Now is there anything else I can help you with?"

      I was almost at a lose for words. Aside from the fact that I was talking to a giraffe named Janey this conversation was bordering on normal. " You have already help out quite a bit. How is it that you know so much?" I listened carefully as she replied, "Everyone here knows more then they often show. They just choose to hide it from certain people or creatures." "Why did you choose to share that with me?" Janey softly said, "I think your kinda cute for a human and all, plus we may be able to help each other out. So lets stick together." " That sounds fine by me, I was already sick of doing this alone."

      "Here come your other two roommates now. Come on and all introduce you. I promise that they are not as scary." Coming down the hall was a computer looking thing with arms and legs that were remarkably human looking, as well as a what looked to be a sailor 's ship. Obviously the ship was scaled down. "Girls I would like you to meet your new roommate Jenny. Jenny this is Carla Computer and Katie Clipper."

      I politely said, "Nice to meet you."

      They replied in unison, "Nice to meet you too." Then Katie added, "I sure am glad you're normal, truthfully when they said you were different I was a little paranoid." It was hard for me to comprehend that they were afraid of me being weird.

      Carla broke my train of thought when she said, "How about we move this inside, it's time to check my email. Katie would you mind plugging me in?"

      "Sure thing," said Katie. The four of us then proceeded into the room. We all sat in the front room while Carla was plugged in. Janey said that she was going to go into the back room to explain everything to Des. I sat that for a few impatient minutes unt il Janey returned with Des.

      They both took a seat and then Carla said, "Okay I'm done for now. Someone unplug me and we will get to know each other a little better."

      Des decided to go first. "Well there really isn't much to tell you. People used to tell me that I ate like a bird. I guess I had a small stomach. It used to hurt my feelings though. One day I prayed that I would turn into a bird just to show them what the re words could do. I guess God was listening then because the next morning I woke up like this. The say I am a from the DuHawk family. But truthfully I don't know how they can classify me when the have never seen anything like me before. There really isn' t much to the story. I would however like to apologize for before. I haven't had my nap today and I get a little cranky sometimes." I replied, "That's okay." In my head though I was trying to figure all this out. These things just don't happen. This is like some really bad fairy tale.

      "Well I guess I will go next," added Janey. I had a friend once who was shorter then me. I always thought that it was kind of funny because I would always beat her up the stairs. She would always struggle until she made it to the top huffing and puffing and complaining about her asthma. I always thought it was funny and would laugh at her. She was always reminding me that her legs were shorter but that didn't matter to me any. I was proud that I was taller then she was and took advantage of it whenever I could. One night I went to bed and everything was perfectly normal. I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt the blood rushing to my head. I had outgrown my bed and was hanging off of it in all sorts of places. I scrambled to my feet only to f ind that I had four of them instead of two. I searched about looking for some sort of answer. I found it on the nightstand next to my bed. It was a simple note that read, 'You have enjoyed being taller then many. So it seems only natural that more height would bring you greater happiness. So here it is a present for you. Congratulations you are a giraffe.' Since then this is what I have become. I guess that is about all there is to it."

      Carla replied, "Don't feel as though you have to say anything. I can see how this would be a little shocking for you. So just try to take everything in. I guess I will go next. My mother always warned me that you are what you do. I interrupted with a con fused look, "You mean you are what you eat." She quickly shot back, "I mean what I say thank you very much. What I say is that my mother warned me that you are what you do. Besides considering that I am not a bowl of Ramen Noodle soup, I think I know what I am talking about. So anyway, I never listened to the warnings she gave out. I spent my days on the computer chatting with friends and checking my email. How it all happened is a blur. All I really remember is realizing what had happened to me. So now I am a computer. This is what I get for not listening to my mom. I'll admit that having to be plugged in is a bit of a hassle, but I have begun to accept myself and I am dealing with things much better now."

      "Save it for later sweetie, we have things to do. We'll just try to get through this as fast as we can. Besides we have the rest of the year for chit chatting." I got the impression that Katie was in a hurry. "It starts out as a love story. I fell madly i n love with a guy who was about to join the Navy. We had two very exciting and life changing weeks together. When it came time to go to boot camp he wished that he could stay. He wanted to be with me. But there wasn't much he could do about it. He went aw ay to boot camp and we wrote letters and exchanged a few phone calls. Eventually we were able to travel to see each other. The time we spent together was incredible. We knew we were in love and that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. But w e didn't see what we could do about it. The time came for him to ship out. I went along with him to the airport. Saying goodbye nearly killed me. When I left the airport I didn't know how in the world I was going to manage without him for 3 and 1/2 years. I was losing hope fast. While I was walking to the car I noticed a lamp on the ground. I picked it up and wiped off the snow. As I was doing that smoke began pouring out of it. I dropped it on the ground and as the pieces flew every which way a genie app eared. 'I am Aladdin. You have rubbed my lamp. Ordinarily you would get three wishes, but since you broke my lamp I am taking two of them away. So you have one wish so use it already.' I thought about it for a fraction of a second before I realized what I wanted. I quickly replied, ' I want to be a Navy ship so that Shaun can always be with me.' 'Very well replied the genie your wish shall be granted.' The genie disappeared and with a toot toot, I became a Navy ship. Granted that it is difficult to expla in to strangers, having Shaun with me all the time is well worth it."

      My head was spinning. I felt like laughing out loud. This had to be some kind of cruel joke. My I tried to keep my composure. In the event that any of this was true, I didn't want to create a Navy vessel, a computer, a giraffe, and a big bird for enemies. I looked at my watch and quickly realized my escape. It was time for me to be at work. As if this wasn't enough today was my first day at my new job. I was the newest Writing Center consultant. I quickly exclaimed, "I hate to chat and run, but I am going to be late for work."

      Janey responded with comforting as well as frightening words, " Don't you worry we will be here when you get back."

      I politely added, "Thanks that is good to know. It was nice talking to you guys." Then I sped out the door.
*******
      As I walked to the writing center my head was a spinning. Looking back on things I probably should have paid more attention to the things around me. Who knows what oddities were to lay around the next corner. But I didn't pay attention to anything. I was trying my best to focus on my new job. I was trying to remember all the instructions I was given. I was also hoping that I would be able to identify my boss. I figured that wouldn't be too hard because he should be the oldest person there. After all the r est were just a bunch of college kids.

      I managed to find the door to the writing center without even focusing. It was just there. I stood in the door way for a few moments. All that I could see from the door were three computers. I was glad to find that things appeared fairly normal. I took a deep breath and step through the door.

      When I looked around I felt as though I had stepped into a whole new dimension. Things were not as I expected them to be. My body whirled around to locate the voice which said, "Welcome." But I found no one. Not a single person was there. Of course this was rather traumatizing for me. Not only because I had no idea what to do and didn't expect to be working by myself, but also because I knew what this meant. It meant that there was something or someone in here that was talking and that wasn't human. "Yo , over here." My eyes traveled around the room until they came upon an odd looking log. I immediately knew that something was not right with this log, but I wasn't exactly sure what it was. I noticed that on one of the bumps there were a pair of eyes.

      My heart nearly sank as I replied, "Who are you?"

      My name is Michael and I know what you are thinking." At this point nothing he said could really surprise me.

      "So what am I thinking?"

      "You're thinking that you never really understood that thing about the bump on the log before. You are also wondering why I am like this," the bump responded. I really didn't feel like another one of these stories. I had already had to much for one day. " Well you look a little antsy, so I'll give you the shortened version. I spent a little to much time in the Writing Center. Well this is what I became. I became a bump on a log because I sat here and didn't do anything all day." I wasn't sure what the expr ession on my face looked like. I could only hope that it wasn't too insulting.

      I quickly added, "I'm very sorry to hear that. Who would have thought all those childhood warnings would actually come true."

      Luckily for me I didn't have to continue with this conversation. I turned toward the door as a large earthworm appeared. I didn't even want to ask. I knew by now what asking questions got you, answers. The last thing that I wanted was answers. So I talked instead, "Can I help you with something?"

      The earthworm responded with a deeper voice then I had imagined. That should have been my first clue that something wasn't right, I was imaging what an earthworms voice sounds like. Earthworms can't talk!!! This is nuts. But anyway he said, "I have been w ronged and I would like your help." Of course this was rather confusing for me.

      "What do you mean? Maybe you have the wrong place, this is the writing center," I said.

      The earthworm spoke again, "I know that this is the righting center that is why I came here. Where else would I go if I had been wronged. I came here because this is the place where they make things right. That is why they call it the righting center. Yo u must be new here."

      This was just simply too much for me. I can't work under these conditions. So I turned to the bump on the log and asked him where the boss was. Suddenly an entire army of people came through the door. "Nothing is simple around here, is it?," I exclaimed.

      "We are here to take you to see the wizard of Bob," they sang in unison.

      "Who on earth is the wizard of Bob?"

      "Well silly he is the one that is in charge. Now it is very simple to find. All you have to do is follow that long jello brick road. His office is the first one your left."

      Why I questioned them I don't know but I did. "I just follow this road and his office is the first one on the left."

      The broke out in unison, "Right!".

      "So it is on the right then?," I asked thoroughly confused.

      "No it is on the left weren't you listening?" I could tell that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. I had been in this crazy place long enough to catch onto what was happening. "Thanks for the help I will just be on my way now," I coolly replied.

      I walked out the door and started out on the jello brick road. Something inside say this was a mistake. I should have listened to that little voice. After all it had been right all those other times. But hey why start listening now. I might as well keep g oing. Truthfully I was a little afraid to go back to my room. This really wasn't as frightening. After what seemed like hours of walking I arrived at would I hope would be the wizard's door. I arrived exhausted and very sticky. I stood there and look at t he door. It was wall papered with quotes. There were simply to many to read. I did notice that most of the quotes were by a man named Where's Waldo Emerson. The name sounded so familiar, but I just couldn't place it.

      I begin to feel as though I was shrinking. I noticed that the top of the door kept getting further and further from me. When I looked down I noticed that everything below my knees had gone into the jello. I began to panic as I realized that I was SINKING! I didn't know what to do. I had learned how to get out of burning building, how to get out of a car that is trapped underwater, even how to get out of quicksand. I had never ever learned how to get out of jello. What was I going to do. I began crying unc ontrollably. Upon hearing me the wizard of Bob, who to no surprise was a cat, appeared at his door. "Please stop crying you are wasting perfectly good jello," replied Bob Cat. I am drowning in jello and this man as the nerve to be concerned with being w asteful. He went back into his office and returned with a large spoon. He began eating around me. At this point I didn't care how weird things were I just wanted to get the heck out of here.

      After he made a nice clean pathway to his door, he helped to pull me up. "We'll have to have them repave that. In the mean time what can I do for you?"

******
      My heart was racing as the car came to a stop in front off Voorhees Hall. It took me a few moments to figure out what was going on. I rejoiced with laughter as I concluded that it had all been a dream. It was a dream about my worst nightmares. About how n othing would go right and how I would be so different from everybody. Even in my worst dreams I didn't think it could be as bad as that dream. Suddenly my first day here didn't seem so scary. A few strange people, be late for class, walking into the wrong room, none of these could even compare with half the stuff I dreamed about. I knew I would be okay.

      It took a little while to unload all my things. My parents were in a hurry to get back on the road. They had a five hour drive ahead of them and the were losing daylight. We said our good byes and I was left alone in my new room. The place that I would ha ve to live in for the next year. I unpacked all my things and put them in there proper places. I was considering taking a break but figured I might as well finish. So I folded up all the boxes and stacked them in a pile. I then carefully slid them under t he bed. Then from somewhere I heard a voice say, "Hey buddy watch what you're doing there!"