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Fantasticoe 2001 -  10th Anniversary Issue

DRIVEN TO INSANITY

Annalie Gamboa


Boom! The bullet went straight through her left cheek piercing its way into the brain and out of her skull. It was as if it was in slow motion. Her long shiny black hair instantly was saturated in her thick red blood. She reached her arms out for him as she was falling off the dock. Her body penetrated the lake water like an otter being pushed off into a pool. Dead black eyes pierced right through him with such hatred.

Why?…..I loved you…..

***

"Here we are honey!" Jonathan said after he opened the door to a big white two-story house. She slowly walked inside onto the wooden shiny floor, looking around with such awe.

"This is so beautiful Jonathan. You've never told me." Faith was entranced. Indeed the house was beautiful. She touched the big white sofas and chairs in the living room. The antique lamps and the oak desks and the little figurines made of ivory gave the house life. Everything she touched both old and new at the same time. A baby grand piano stood by the glass doors leading to the porch and towards the lake.

She opened the glass door from the back porch and a soft breeze blew inside lifting the white angelic curtains in a wave like motion. Faith stood there for a while looking at the peacefulness of the lake. The view was so beautiful. Maple trees surrounded the blue lake. She noticed the sweet smell from the maple trees.

For a moment the sweet smell of the maples trees no longer lingered in the air. A slight shiver ran down her spine. Something was calling her. It was motioning her to come forward to the lake. Her heart started beating faster. It's as if someone was yelling her name. Then suddenly she felt a firm handgrip on her shoulder and she was turned around. She was now staring into Jonathan's deep set of black eyes. For a moment Jonathan's eyes looked mysterious almost too wild for her to recognize whose they were. A dreaded feeling gave way all over her body and she didn't know why. Then it went away as if it was lifted just as fast as it came. Her body calmed down and she was back to her self again.

" Are you just gonna stand here all day or see what it's like upstairs?"

Faith shook her head in confusion.

That was weird. She thought to herself.

She turned around and gave her husband a kiss. They both went upstairs and wandered through the large bedrooms. The bathroom was so big; you could've put two medium sized Jacuzzis in there. The bathroom mirror surrounded the room and the small intricate patterns of the tile floor matched the big round Victorian style tub. Oh how gorgeous it was. Then she was lead to the master bedroom. The inside was a big canopy bed with silk sheets and a fluffy white comforter on top. A sliding glass door was off the side leading to a little porch, which over looked the lake.

" This is amazing Jonathan." Faith turned around and kissed him.

" It still needs a little bit more cleaning, but you don't have to do a thing. Just relax, while I'm at work." They slowly inched their way onto the bed. They kissed with such passion. Faith couldn't believe she finally found a guy who was tall, mysterious, and yet handsome. Jonathan was everything Faith could ever want. A very successful man who ran one of the biggest banks in the city. She met him when she opened an account in the bank and she immediately caught his attention. He introduced himself as Jonathan Rogers. His black hair and hard jaw line with a perfect smile made her dreaming about him. She fell in love the minute they met. She was half Filipino and half American. Long brown hair that came down pass her shoulders and almond shaped black eyes. Jonathan asked her out on date and she was so excited. Soon they were dating non-stop. Though they had little fights now and then she soon fell deeply in love with him. Then one day after three years had passed here she was in this lovely home with the sweetest guy.

***

A week had passed and Faith was still not familiar with everything that surrounded her. She had done some cleaning around the house especially the kitchen and the huge living room. She had dusted the whole downstairs until the sun hid behind the horizon. She was exhausted but she still had a duty to cook for her husband before he came home. He hated when she didn't have supper waiting for him when he got home. She remembered one night when she came home late from work and didn't have time to cook for Jonathan. When he came home and there was nothing to eat he became furious. His eyes were wild and his livid face scared Faith enough to want to leave him, but he promised her he would never get that mad again. So she trusted him and decided to stay, but she never forgot that night.

She was in the kitchen cutting away some carrots for the roast beef she was cooking. Suddenly she thought she heard a door open and close upstairs. Her eyes darted straight for the upstairs and listened closer. Nothing.

Hum I could've sworn I heard something. Maybe I should put some music on. Don't be silly that was nothing. Besides it probably was just the wind. Maybe one of the windows upstairs was open. Oh well.

She walked towards the stereo and turned it on. The sound of Barry Manilow eased her pounding heart. Then she went back to the kitchen and grabbed the knife. She stared at the knife for a brief second and saw her reflection looking back up at her. Suddenly when she took her eyes off the reflection seemed to smirk at her. Her eyes quickly looked back at the knife. She couldn't believe was she was seeing. She saw blood dripping from the sharp edge of the knife. She screamed and dropped the knife. Her knees almost gave way to her small frame. She placed her arm and hands on the counter to hold her up then heard the kitchen door swing open.

" Honey, are you okay!" Jonathan rushed in the kitchen startling her. She pointed at the knife. " Bbblood." Jonathan picked up the knife and gave her a confused look. He had just walked in time to see the scenario.

" Honey, what blood?"

" I..I swear I thought ..Maybe…I know I wasn't dreaming! It was blood!" Faith examined the knife that only held traces of the carrot skin she was cutting up. She couldn't believe it.

" Why don't you lay down and I'll finish this up. Okay?" Jonathan escorted his shaky wife to the couch and tried to calm her down.

***

That was the first thing that she noticed happening around the house. Soon the noises she heard were ignored. Sometimes she would hear someone playing the piano. Whenever she went to the living room it would stop but when she went back to her cleaning she heard it again. Then she decided to play music as loud as she can trying to drown out the piano.

She stepped out on the porch one night and sipped on her coffee. Jonathan was going to be late so she ate by herself and now she is sitting outside with her robe wrapped around her. The night was so nice, just a slight breeze passing by. She was looking out towards the dock when she heard a splash in the water. Suddenly her body felt cold all over. She clutched her robe closer to her body. The night was silent except for the splash in the water.

That was not a fish Faith. It sounded heavier.

Her eyes were transfixed on the wavy water. The moonlight illuminated the whole place. Then she heard a whisper that was carried by the wind.

No! How could you!……I loved you….

Those words rang through her ears. Faith couldn't tell if she had said that or it was just the whispers of the wind embracing the trees. The dock felt like a magnetic field drawing her closer. Before she knew it her body was moving without her command towards the dock. Her heart started racing so fast it hurt. When she focused she was standing almost on the middle of the wooden dock. A mist of white figure appeared and her back was facing Faith. Faith tried to close her eyes but it kept revealing the figure more concrete now. The figure was a lady about her height. Her hair flowed down her waist. She looked so real now. Faith tried to say something but couldn't make a sound. It's as if she swallowed cotton balls. The lady was wearing a long white ruffled nightgown that dragged to the floor. Then as if hearing what Faith said in her mind the lady slowly turned around. Her sad sunken eyes looked into Faiths and the front of her gown was soaked with blood. As soon as her face turned to look at Faith her head jerked back so fast and blood squirted all over her. Half her face was blown off; blood dripped down her gown and covered the old bloodstain.

Faith screamed out in horror. The sight was so hideous she wanted to help yet turn and run for her life. The lady reached her arm out and her body fell in a slow motion into the lake. Faith covered her mouth in such shock. Her body seemed to be glued down to the ground. Then the lady disappeared. Finally Faith had control of her body but felt so weak and fell to the ground sobbing.

The back porch swung open and Jonathan. His eyes darted into the darkness looking for her and found her sobbing by the dock.

" Faith, what the hell are you doing out here?" He picked her up to look at her face. "What is the matter with you? Are you okay?"

" I saw her!"

"Saw who?"

" The lady that keeps on haunting me! She's real Jonathan!" Jonathan was confused. He thought his wife had gone crazy. He picked her up and carried her back inside the house and straight to the bedroom. Her sobbing and shivering body relaxed a little and she felt tired. Jonathan was leaving the room and reached for the door to close behind him when Faith mumbled something.

" She was Asian. Her hair was black. She was beautiful. Blood. All over her. All over." Faith mumbled as if she was talking in her sleep.

"What did you say?" Jonathan asked running back towards her. But Faith fell deep into her sleep. Jonathan looked at her. His eyes suddenly hovered with the wild infuriated look as if something had made him angry.

Poor Faith.

***

Another week passed and Faith couldn't get the grotesque picture out of her mind. She had stayed in bed for almost a week now. Getting the energy to get up and doing something constructive, Faith decided to put the image in the back of her mind.

She got dressed and went outside. The first thing she noticed was the dock and she couldn't bare to look at it anymore so she went back inside. Maybe she was still weak and needed more rest. She walked up the stairs towards her room when in the corner of her eye she saw something bright through a small door. The light was just a brief second and it went away. Faith headed towards the small door. She tried to open it, but it was jammed. She kept on pounding on the little door until it finally opened. Dust and dirt blew out of the little place behind the small door. She inhaled so much that she almost started choking. Faith didn't know whether to reached into the dark hole or closed the door again. Her arm reached into the hole and started feeling around. Then she felt something sharp and pulled her arm back to find her index finger bleeding. She got up to grab a rag from her bedroom and wrapped her finger around it. Then she reached into it again and felt something similar to a book and pulled it out. She closed the door and examined the little dusty book.

It seemed like an old diary. A razor was sticking out of the book with her fresh blood on it. She took the razor out and wiped her fresh blood off of it. Then she sat down and opened it up and started reading.

January 12, 1998

I don't know why I still love him. He doesn't care about me. I can't take this anymore. ….

February 2, 1998

Today is the last straw! I will not put up with his fist against my face! ….How could he do that to me! I gave him everything he wanted. I gave myself to him and this is all I get in return?…

February 11, 1998

….The night is so lonely. I need him. Even though he beats me until my soul bleeds I love him still. He has taken over me and all I can do is obey. I have become dependent on what little love he gives me…

Why does he think I want him for his money? For all I care, he could be the poorest person alive! I know he's been married before. He won't tell me. When he looks at me I can see the hatred in his eyes whenever I bring it up. His face so apathetic to my dying heart. Whoever she was before me. I am not like her!

November 21, 1998

This is it. Today I'm leaving him. I can't take this anymore. When he leaves for work tomorrow I will be gone for good this time. He will never find me…..I can cut my wrist with this razor and bleed all over his white house, see if I care the mess I made! I could care less if he dies with me…..

Faith felt the pain in the words that were written down in the diary. She almost felt like the person that wrote this. The hurt was so tremendous she felt it in her heart. When she looked up it was already nighttime. Then suddenly something occurred to her.

The lady at the dock. This was hers. She was the one that died. She probably died three years ago. Her body trembled at the thought of how the lady died. The images flashing in her mind over and over. Then she felt someone standing behind her.

"Hi, Honey, I'm home." Jonathan said in a monotone voice. He had been standing there for quite sometime watching Faith's reactions as she read the diary. Faith was so caught up in her findings she didn't even notice his footsteps going upstairs.

" OH you startled me. Look what I found! It's the lady's diary. She died here Jonathan. That's why she won't leave me alone." Faith turned around to show her husband.

Jonathan didn't even bother to look at the diary Faith held in her hands. His eyes burned deep into hers. "Where did you find this?"

Faith suddenly felt dreadful. Something dark had entered the room and was now looking straight at her. All of a sudden it dawned on her evilness lingered on his face. The same look that was described in the diary. He was married once before. As he stood there ready to attack, Faith felt afraid.

"You….you were the one. You killed her!" She got up and put her hand over her mouth as tears fell down her cheeks.

" I'm sorry honey. I didn't know you would find out." Jonathan reached out rapidly and grabbed her arm. She hadn't realized how strong he was, her wrist started hurting.

"What are you doing Jonathan! Let me go!" She had panicked now. Looking around to see if she could find something to defend herself.

" I didn't know you would find out Faith! We could've lived forever together! You ruined it!"

Faith didn't know what he was talking about. She tried to let him go of her arm but he seemed so furious he pulled her long hair down until she fell hard on the wooden floor.

"Faith I loved you. But now I know you are just like her! Can't stand the pain! You fucking Asian bitches are all the same! I know your plan bitch. You are not going to try to take my money like that whore! Do you understand me!" Jonathan screamed down at her.

"NO Jonathan! She loved you!" Faith tried to think of a way to calm him down.

"That bitch never loved me. Krystal was a money grubbing slut that's what she was! I thought you were different Faith! Now I don't have a choice." Jonathan pulled her up by her hair and dragged her weak slender body outside. All Faith could do was scream and tried to yank her hair from his grip, but to no avail.

They reached the dock until they were at the end. Jonathan pushed Faith's body towards the edge choking her. Faith pleaded and cried but sensed that Jonathan wasn't going to change his mind. His right arm choking her and he reached into his coat pocket with his left hand and pulled out a gun. Faith's eyes got bigger; she knew she was going to die. Her body felt numb and her mind drifted away and something took over her body.

" But, Jonathan I love you….why?" Jonathan's eyes got bigger and he was in a state of shock for a minute. It was Krystal's voice coming out of Faith's lips. He was staring at Faith but her face seemed to blur and dislocate and Krystals face appeared with an angry black eyes. He immediately let go of the choke and stood back. Krystals voluptuous lips quivered and smirked at Jonathan. Without even thinking about it Jonathan pulled the trigger and blew her face away. Krystals face no longer showed. Blood exploded and half of Faith's face was torn off and she fell into the lake.

Jonathan heaved and shook his head. He got the urge to step onto the edge to see the lifeless body fall. When he finally caught his breath he turned his back around and suddenly he felt two hands grab him down. He reached out for something to grab, but air was all that surrounded him. With a loud splash he was being pulled down deep into the lurky water. He pulled his trigger hoping to shoot whatever it was pulling him down and soon the grip was withdrawn and he swam back up.

Jonathan coughed and ran back into the house. Standing in the living room was Krystal, her face blown off. Her face and skin was decomposed. The stench she gave off made Jonathan almost throw up. She reached out for him.

"Jonathan my love, come take care of me." Her voice sounded as if she was 200 years old. Croaking between words. Jonathan shot his gun again pointing at her. But to no avail she disappeared.

"Where the fuck are you bitch! You're dead! You're just fucking around with my mind!" He looked around and then she appeared behind him blowing in his ear. HE turned when he felt the coldness of her breath, but what made him sick was the smell of her breath. It smelled like dead corpse. But Krystal was gone. Jonathan was getting frustrated. His heart seemed to gnaw through his skin, at least that's what he felt like. He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them there she was two inches away from him. He screamed in horror. He never noticed her flesh falling off and her eyeball falling off.

"What's the matter pretty boy? I thought you told me I was beautiful!" She whispered. He reached out to shove her flesh out of his face. But his fingers just sunked into her clammy skin. His middle finger poked her good eye and stuck to his finger as he pulled back. He fell back and crawled into the corner of the living room. She disappeared again. Her laughter filled the place. He tried to cover his ears with his hands but the laughter pierced right through burning his eardrum.

***

Jonathan sat by the window looking out at the bare trees. The snow was falling covering the ground. He had a blank expression on his face.

Crazy, I'm not crazy. I don't care what the fucking judge says. I don't belong here.

" How do you feel Jonathan? Do you feel like you're going crazy?" The same croaky voice whispered in Jonathan's ears.

"Stop it! Leave me alone!" Jonathan screamed, startling the other patients in the pale pasty green room.

Why can't they just fucking leave me alone! Fucking Asian bitches! The first one was the biggest bitch of them all. I should've listened to my dad. Thank god he died before he saw that whore fuck me over! I know they're all the same. She thought she can deceived me like that. Always trying to give me that puppy dog look and saying how much she loved me…what a lying cunt!

"Jonathan who are you talking to?" Patty, the nurse asked him. He looked up to see Patty, one of the workers who worked at the asylum, and everyone staring at him. "Nothing." Then the voice came again laughing. Her voice echoed the whole activity room. Jonathan got up and screamed and ran to his room. Patty ran after him. She tried to comfort him. She felt sorry for Jonathan. As soon as she left Jonathan made his way to the corner of the room.

His room looked really worn down like the rest of the asylum. The pale green paint was chipping off the walls. This whole place was over crowded, three, sometime four to one small room.

Jonathan crawled into a fetal position clutching his dirty white robe tighter.

I don't belong here. I need to get out of here. It's been way too long. I'm not like them!

"Where do you think you belong Jonathan?" a croaky voice appeared.

"Yeah Jonathan. You deserve to suffer in this place.you bastard!" a high pitch voice also entered the room.

Leave me the fuck alone! Just leave me the fuck alone! Jonathans' body was shaking now. He should be used to their voices echoing in the air, fucking with his mind. Hell they've been doing it for three longs years now! But every time they appeared, his blood starts boiling, wishing he could kill them again. He didn't know how long he could take this.

***

The floor was cold against his bare feet. His robe dragged on the floor as he made his way to the bathroom. The tile floor was dirty but he didn't seem to care. He stood there in front of the bathroom mirror staring at his reflection. His face seemed so old, yet he was only 37. His cheeks had sunk over the years and his eyes were dead inside. He was dead inside.

" Go ahead. I know you want to." The croaky evil voice came again. Jonathan started sobbing. His hands leaned against the corners of the sink.

"Why can't you two bitches leave me alone for one night!" Jonathan cried out.

"Why? Where would we go dick! You're the one that brought us here…remember?!" the other voice shrieked.

" Do it Jonathan. I'll even help you. No one cares. No one loves you." Jonathan stopped his sobbing and looked up. He was living in misery. She was right. No one cared.

"Do it!" The voice came louder this time. Jonathan pulled out a razor he stole from one of the nurses after helping him shave his face. He held it up to his wrist and with a one quick stroke of his hand he sliced his wrist right through. Blood oozed out of his wrist. Still wasn't satisfied he threw his face against the mirror smashing him. The mirror shattered into a million pieces shooting right through his eyes blinding him. His nose smashed and his face was bloody. Jonathan fell back. Laughter rang in the bathroom and it was growing louder and louder. That was the last thing Jonathan heard.

Poor Jonathan…..


Acknowledgments

I would like to thank all the people that read my story and gave me advice on making changes. I want to thank Marc, Desi, and Trina for the suggestion of making the ending different. At first I wrote it with one one ghost haunting Jonathan. I also want to thank Terry Heller for the little advice on how to make things more descriptive.
 

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