The Devil's Friends
"The devil has friends, I know he does. Cause
one of them is my roommate. I'm not kidding, she is really out to get me.
You think I'm lying, but I'm not, she really is trying to get me to go
to the dark side with her. But, I'm not going to allow it, I just can't.
Oh, it's a temptation all right, but I can't do it, I just can't. Oh, my
roommate, Sara, that's her name. You should see her. She has dark black
hair, like that of a raven. I only say raven because it's the devil's bird.
You would think she would have dark eyes match, but no, oh no. Her eyes
are even scarier than black, they are this weird brownish color, almost
red. I just know that's a sure sign of the devil."
"It will be okay, Amy, just tell me why your
roommate is out to get you."
"Just cause you are a psychiatrist and I'm
talking to you doesn't mean that I'm crazy. You may think I am, but I'm
not, she is really trying to get me. She has done so many things to scare
me and try to hurt me. Plus, I hate her, I just hate her. And there's nothing
you can do or say to make me like her. You don't even know who I am, the
school just sent me to you cause they think there's something wrong with
me. I tried talking to my RA and RD, you know, the people we are supposed
to go to with questions and concerns. But they don't want to listen to
me anymore; I know they don't believe me."
"So, that's how I ended up here, sitting across
from you in this stuffy office on this really uncomfortable and not to
mention kind of ugly chair. But, you look nice enough, kinda like my mom,
in fact. She has blonde hair too, but hers is a lot shorter than yours,
she can't put it up in a tight bun like you do. She also wears suits to
work, I think she has one kind of like that, maybe a little darker red,
but very similar, however, she's not a doctor like you. Do you think there
is anything wrong with me? Cause I sure as hell don't. I'm just a normal
twenty year-old college student trying to get through these four awful
years of her life."
"Why do you think they are awful? College is
usually the best time of someone's life. Will you tell me more about Sara?"
"If your roommate was trying to get you, would
you think it was a good time? I don't think so. Do you think I'm strange?
Do I look funny, is that it? Does a girl with short brown hair and bright
blue eyes suddenly seem funny looking to you, cause it sure doesn't to
me. I think I'm normal, I might be a little short, but I'd say average,
I'm not over or under weight, so don't even ask me about eating disorders.
I know that's what you shrinks look for in every young woman, some type
of eating disorder, but believe you me, I eat all the time. Well, not all
the time, it's not like I have a problem with eating too much. I eat when
I am hungry, isn't that what you do? My roommate sure doesn't eat, I think
its because she really isn't human. She's a robot, a devil robot."
"What has she done to you do make you think
she's friends with the devil?"
"What has she done? Well, let me begin,
I can't even name them all. She comes to me in my dreams and tells me that
I have no friends and that the couple that I do have are going to die in
front of me. I think she's going to sacrifice their lives or something.
She says she is going to turn me into a dog, cause she knows I don't like
dogs. She switched my shampoo with hair remover, a classic trick, you know,
this right here, it's a wig. She hides my things, especially my clothes,
so I have nothing to wear. And she blows her nose all the time, every morning,
while I'm still trying to sleep, but this isn't like any regular person
blowing their nose. It's so loud; I think the guys in the next dorm can
hear her. Although, they might just think it's a train coming through town
every morning. The other day, I was watching TV, just minding my own business.
Its my TV and all, so technically she doesn't have permission to watch
it. But, I'm not mean like she is, so I don't mind if she watches it every
once in awhile."
"But, anyway, we were watching this TV show
and all of a sudden, she looks at me and laughs. But it wasn't just a laugh,
more like a cackle, but deeper. It was a deep, low cackle, and it lasted
for like ten minutes. 'Bah, ha, ha, ha!' She just sat there, cackling at
me. 'Bah, ha, ha!' I don't know why she was laughing, and I got kinda scared
so I turned my head. When I turned it around, she had morphed into a spider,
a huge hairy, black spider and she was coming closer and closer to me.
She said she was going to string me up in her web so I couldn't get free
and she was going to take me to hell with her. Thank goodness my best friend
came in the room, cause I think my roommate is scared of her. She quickly
turned back into her robot body self and continued watching TV."
"My best friend, Mandy, knows all about my
roommate. She also knows all about me. People say we are the same person,
but she has red hair, long red hair and blue eyes, just like mine. She
has a roommate that's friends with the devil too. I don't know what the
devil has against us, but I'd really like to find out. She and I should
room together, but the devil won't let us do that. I've been trying to
get out of my room, you know, to get away from my roommate, but she has
to keep interfering. Every time I think I'm going to leave, she casts a
spell on me and I can't move for days, physically, I can't move! I just
stand there, frozen in time, watching things move around me, moving without
me. By the time I'm let out from under this spell, the room I wanted is
already taken and I'm stuck living with her. That's when I first went to
talk with my RD, but as you can see, she was of no help at all. I really
know you think I'm making this all up, but I'm not, you have to believe
"I don't think you are making any of this up.
I'm just here to help you, Amy. I will do anything I can for you."
"Well, you can start by changing the color
of the wallpaper in this office of yours. The deep red color makes me think
of hell, and burning flames. Hell is also very hot, much like it is in
here. Do you think it's hot? Cause I'm sweating like a pig! Couldn't you
open that little window in the corner or something? That would sure help
me out a lot."
"I know what hell looks like, you know, cause
my roommate is always describing it; after all, it is her home. She says
it's hot and dark; there is no light anywhere except for the fires. You
know, the fires of hell, from the Bible. I know you have read the Bible,
everyone has. Except maybe my roommate, cause I don't think the devil has
a copy of the Bible. And she is a friend of the devils."
"Do you wanna know something else? Earlier
today, I was taking a nap and I was woken by her repeatedly tapping her
foot on the floor of our room. Tapping and tapping in some rhythmic pace
on that cold grocery store tile floor. You would think a school that I
give so much money to in one year would have better floors than grocery
store tile. And, our little jail cell of a room can't have carpet like
most of the others, we used to have some, but my roommate burnt it when
she was lighting candles, her 66 candles she illegally has in our room.
That's another thing, she likes to play with fire, and more than just most
people. She plays with fire all the time, its really weird, unless you
don't think its weird, cause whatever you say is right. You are the one
with the Dr. in front of your name."
"So, earlier today, I woke up and I was no
longer on my bed, I was floating in the air. Our beds are lofted, mine's
above the TV, so I usually sleep close to the ceiling. But, like most people,
I like to sleep on a mattress, not just hang in the air. I looked down
at her and screamed; she knows I'm afraid of heights. She was just laughing,
you know that cackle again; 'Bah, ha, ha!' there was nothing I could do.
I just had to lie there, floating in the air until she decided she was
going to put me down. I think I was up there for at least an hour, cause
that's how long her soap is, and she just can't miss that. I don't even
understand those soaps anyway, as if things like that ever happen in real
life. Who do they think they are kidding? They ought to be filming my life,
'Living with the Devil's Friend.' I just don't know what I'm going to do.
I can't leave school, I've worked so hard to get here. My boyfriend broke
up with me a couple months ago, he says I'm all messed up inside. But,
I'm really not, its just my roommate, she puts ideas into guys heads about
me. I'm really not as bad as she tells them."
"So you don't have a boyfriend right now?"
"Umm… no, I haven't had another boyfriend for
the longest time. When I did have one, she had to go and ruin everything.
She used her powers against me and created a woman, a beautiful woman.
This woman, who was really a robot, just like her, seduced my boyfriend.
She took him away from me. I can't help it if I don't have her robot body,
I am normal. My chest isn't huge and I don't have a nice ass, I'm just
normal. Of course, my boyfriend saw 'her' and immediately broke up with
me for the chance to meet her. I guess he wasn't that close to me after
all. But, I think that robot girl was programmed to put nasty thoughts
about me in his head, cause now he won't even talk to me, and neither will
any of his fraternity brothers. They all think there is something terribly
wrong with me. That's how I know it was her, all of those guys used to
be my best friends. But, I can't say much more about her, I'm sure she's
listening right now. She is going to flip out on me when I get back to
our room, that is if she doesn't do something to me while I'm here, or
for that matter, do something to you!"
"Do you think she is here right now, listening
"Well, I can only help but think that the black
bird sitting outside your window making awful faces at me is her."
"What bird, there's nothing outside the window.
I don't see anything but the building next door."
"Yes, yes there is, look! Can't you see that
huge black raven? I knew I shouldn't have said anything about her."
"No Amy, I can't see it, what does this black
raven look like? Please describe it for me."
"It looks like any other raven, it's black
and it has a long pointed beak and really sharp claws. Just look at it!"
"Amy, I don't see anything! You have to explain
"No, I can't, I've said too much, she's pulling
the window all the way open right now. She's coming to get me. Can't you
see her coming through the window? Look! I knew I shouldn't have came here
in the first place."
And with that said, a huge, black raven broke
through the almost open window and swooped down to grab Amy by the shoulders
and flew out of the building with her. Much to the doctor's surprise, the
raven had actually been real. The doctor screamed and yelled for the raven
to let go of Amy, but there was nothing she could do about it now, and
with one last cackle, Amy was gone. 'Bah, ha, ha, ha!' She was banished
to hell. And none of it was her fault; after all she hadn't picked to live
with Sara Saytone in the dorm.
I would like to thank Cindy, without her and her experiences, there
would have been no story. To both her and Jill, for reading and giving
me too many ideas and for laughing at the story, at least someone thought
it was funny! I would also like to thank everyone who has ever had that
roommate from hell, which most of us have had at one time or another, for
if there were no roommates like that, the story would have no meaning.
Thanks to everyone, you too Mom and Daddy, just cause I know you are reading!!