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The Devil's Friends

Emily Zeller

     "The devil has friends, I know he does. Cause one of them is my roommate. I'm not kidding, she is really out to get me. You think I'm lying, but I'm not, she really is trying to get me to go to the dark side with her. But, I'm not going to allow it, I just can't. Oh, it's a temptation all right, but I can't do it, I just can't. Oh, my roommate, Sara, that's her name. You should see her. She has dark black hair, like that of a raven. I only say raven because it's the devil's bird. You would think she would have dark eyes match, but no, oh no. Her eyes are even scarier than black, they are this weird brownish color, almost red. I just know that's a sure sign of the devil."

     "It will be okay, Amy, just tell me why your roommate is out to get you."

     "Just cause you are a psychiatrist and I'm talking to you doesn't mean that I'm crazy. You may think I am, but I'm not, she is really trying to get me. She has done so many things to scare me and try to hurt me. Plus, I hate her, I just hate her. And there's nothing you can do or say to make me like her. You don't even know who I am, the school just sent me to you cause they think there's something wrong with me. I tried talking to my RA and RD, you know, the people we are supposed to go to with questions and concerns. But they don't want to listen to me anymore; I know they don't believe me." 

     "So, that's how I ended up here, sitting across from you in this stuffy office on this really uncomfortable and not to mention kind of ugly chair. But, you look nice enough, kinda like my mom, in fact. She has blonde hair too, but hers is a lot shorter than yours, she can't put it up in a tight bun like you do. She also wears suits to work, I think she has one kind of like that, maybe a little darker red, but very similar, however, she's not a doctor like you. Do you think there is anything wrong with me? Cause I sure as hell don't. I'm just a normal twenty year-old college student trying to get through these four awful years of her life."

     "Why do you think they are awful? College is usually the best time of someone's life. Will you tell me more about Sara?"

     "If your roommate was trying to get you, would you think it was a good time? I don't think so. Do you think I'm strange? Do I look funny, is that it? Does a girl with short brown hair and bright blue eyes suddenly seem funny looking to you, cause it sure doesn't to me. I think I'm normal, I might be a little short, but I'd say average, I'm not over or under weight, so don't even ask me about eating disorders. I know that's what you shrinks look for in every young woman, some type of eating disorder, but believe you me, I eat all the time. Well, not all the time, it's not like I have a problem with eating too much. I eat when I am hungry, isn't that what you do? My roommate sure doesn't eat, I think its because she really isn't human. She's a robot, a devil robot."

     "What has she done to you do make you think she's friends with the devil?"

      "What has she done? Well, let me begin, I can't even name them all. She comes to me in my dreams and tells me that I have no friends and that the couple that I do have are going to die in front of me. I think she's going to sacrifice their lives or something. She says she is going to turn me into a dog, cause she knows I don't like dogs. She switched my shampoo with hair remover, a classic trick, you know, this right here, it's a wig. She hides my things, especially my clothes, so I have nothing to wear. And she blows her nose all the time, every morning, while I'm still trying to sleep, but this isn't like any regular person blowing their nose. It's so loud; I think the guys in the next dorm can hear her. Although, they might just think it's a train coming through town every morning. The other day, I was watching TV, just minding my own business. Its my TV and all, so technically she doesn't have permission to watch it. But, I'm not mean like she is, so I don't mind if she watches it every once in awhile." 

     "But, anyway, we were watching this TV show and all of a sudden, she looks at me and laughs. But it wasn't just a laugh, more like a cackle, but deeper. It was a deep, low cackle, and it lasted for like ten minutes. 'Bah, ha, ha, ha!' She just sat there, cackling at me. 'Bah, ha, ha!' I don't know why she was laughing, and I got kinda scared so I turned my head. When I turned it around, she had morphed into a spider, a huge hairy, black spider and she was coming closer and closer to me. She said she was going to string me up in her web so I couldn't get free and she was going to take me to hell with her. Thank goodness my best friend came in the room, cause I think my roommate is scared of her. She quickly turned back into her robot body self and continued watching TV." 

     "My best friend, Mandy, knows all about my roommate. She also knows all about me. People say we are the same person, but she has red hair, long red hair and blue eyes, just like mine. She has a roommate that's friends with the devil too. I don't know what the devil has against us, but I'd really like to find out. She and I should room together, but the devil won't let us do that. I've been trying to get out of my room, you know, to get away from my roommate, but she has to keep interfering. Every time I think I'm going to leave, she casts a spell on me and I can't move for days, physically, I can't move! I just stand there, frozen in time, watching things move around me, moving without me. By the time I'm let out from under this spell, the room I wanted is already taken and I'm stuck living with her. That's when I first went to talk with my RD, but as you can see, she was of no help at all. I really know you think I'm making this all up, but I'm not, you have to believe me."

     "I don't think you are making any of this up. I'm just here to help you, Amy. I will do anything I can for you."

     "Well, you can start by changing the color of the wallpaper in this office of yours. The deep red color makes me think of hell, and burning flames. Hell is also very hot, much like it is in here. Do you think it's hot? Cause I'm sweating like a pig! Couldn't you open that little window in the corner or something? That would sure help me out a lot." 

     "I know what hell looks like, you know, cause my roommate is always describing it; after all, it is her home. She says it's hot and dark; there is no light anywhere except for the fires. You know, the fires of hell, from the Bible. I know you have read the Bible, everyone has. Except maybe my roommate, cause I don't think the devil has a copy of the Bible. And she is a friend of the devils." 

     "Do you wanna know something else? Earlier today, I was taking a nap and I was woken by her repeatedly tapping her foot on the floor of our room. Tapping and tapping in some rhythmic pace on that cold grocery store tile floor. You would think a school that I give so much money to in one year would have better floors than grocery store tile. And, our little jail cell of a room can't have carpet like most of the others, we used to have some, but my roommate burnt it when she was lighting candles, her 66 candles she illegally has in our room. That's another thing, she likes to play with fire, and more than just most people. She plays with fire all the time, its really weird, unless you don't think its weird, cause whatever you say is right. You are the one with the Dr. in front of your name." 

     "So, earlier today, I woke up and I was no longer on my bed, I was floating in the air. Our beds are lofted, mine's above the TV, so I usually sleep close to the ceiling. But, like most people, I like to sleep on a mattress, not just hang in the air. I looked down at her and screamed; she knows I'm afraid of heights. She was just laughing, you know that cackle again; 'Bah, ha, ha!' there was nothing I could do. I just had to lie there, floating in the air until she decided she was going to put me down. I think I was up there for at least an hour, cause that's how long her soap is, and she just can't miss that. I don't even understand those soaps anyway, as if things like that ever happen in real life. Who do they think they are kidding? They ought to be filming my life, 'Living with the Devil's Friend.' I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't leave school, I've worked so hard to get here. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple months ago, he says I'm all messed up inside. But, I'm really not, its just my roommate, she puts ideas into guys heads about me. I'm really not as bad as she tells them."

     "So you don't have a boyfriend right now?"

     "Umm… no, I haven't had another boyfriend for the longest time. When I did have one, she had to go and ruin everything. She used her powers against me and created a woman, a beautiful woman. This woman, who was really a robot, just like her, seduced my boyfriend. She took him away from me. I can't help it if I don't have her robot body, I am normal. My chest isn't huge and I don't have a nice ass, I'm just normal. Of course, my boyfriend saw 'her' and immediately broke up with me for the chance to meet her. I guess he wasn't that close to me after all. But, I think that robot girl was programmed to put nasty thoughts about me in his head, cause now he won't even talk to me, and neither will any of his fraternity brothers. They all think there is something terribly wrong with me. That's how I know it was her, all of those guys used to be my best friends. But, I can't say much more about her, I'm sure she's listening right now. She is going to flip out on me when I get back to our room, that is if she doesn't do something to me while I'm here, or for that matter, do something to you!"

     "Do you think she is here right now, listening to you?"

     "Well, I can only help but think that the black bird sitting outside your window making awful faces at me is her."

     "What bird, there's nothing outside the window. I don't see anything but the building next door."

     "Yes, yes there is, look! Can't you see that huge black raven? I knew I shouldn't have said anything about her."

     "No Amy, I can't see it, what does this black raven look like? Please describe it for me."

     "It looks like any other raven, it's black and it has a long pointed beak and really sharp claws. Just look at it!"

     "Amy, I don't see anything! You have to explain things farther?"

     "No, I can't, I've said too much, she's pulling the window all the way open right now. She's coming to get me. Can't you see her coming through the window? Look! I knew I shouldn't have came here in the first place."

     And with that said, a huge, black raven broke through the almost open window and swooped down to grab Amy by the shoulders and flew out of the building with her. Much to the doctor's surprise, the raven had actually been real. The doctor screamed and yelled for the raven to let go of Amy, but there was nothing she could do about it now, and with one last cackle, Amy was gone. 'Bah, ha, ha, ha!' She was banished to hell. And none of it was her fault; after all she hadn't picked to live with Sara Saytone in the dorm. 


I would like to thank Cindy, without her and her experiences, there would have been no story. To both her and Jill, for reading and giving me too many ideas and for laughing at the story, at least someone thought it was funny! I would also like to thank everyone who has ever had that roommate from hell, which most of us have had at one time or another, for if there were no roommates like that, the story would have no meaning. Thanks to everyone, you too Mom and Daddy, just cause I know you are reading!!

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