Fantasticoe 2010 Contents
Month after month, parents hired the checkered clown, unaware of his different tendencies. And month after month, his real intentions were never known. Some might be quick to label this strange harlequin jester a pedophile, but that would be too… predictable. Two months without a birthday party though hadn"t really whetted the clown"s appetite.
tale begins at Tiffany"s 17th birthday party in May. Not the
kind with pin-the-tail on the crocodile or a cake walk. Her parents really
thought hiring a clown to watch their little girl was cool.
shot Jolly Jim a look of complete disgust.
hate blueberry cobbler actually," said Tiffany with strain in her voice.
eyes glared intensely at the clown.
"This cake sucks!" complained Edwina as she threw her slice of cake on the ground and stomped on it.
"Jolly whatever your name is, I don"t want you here. No one likes clowns" criticized Tiffany.
Jim wasn"t going anywhere though. The chemicals would make these brats go at it like animals in just forty five minutes. And Tiffany? Well she would get better acquainted with Drake, so no worries.
the teenagers were hammered, Jolly Jim sprayed alcoholic cologne throughout
the house so that no one would remember the night. Tiffany never heard
the sadist"s laughter in the laundry room when he slashed into his prey
with the recklessness of a broken and groaning rollercoaster ride. When
she woke up, all she wanted to know was if the clown had raped her. The
pregnancy test was negative.
It smells like sauerkraut cooked in beer. That"s not cool. I must see what this madness is! I wish I were blind. Shit. Someone had a little too much time on their hands.
Blood was the only color that his eyes perceived. The laundry room was a canvas of two festering white spheres and countless patches of grey. The cries for his daughter were not returned.
In September, it was time for Donnie"s birthday party. Apparently teenagers were stupid enough to believe that hiring a clown could get them high while parents were out of town. This could work though if it led to the same succulent result.
"Do you kids want some beef tacos?" suggested Jim with urgency.
"Not really. I"m kind of pregnant. I want sugar," said a masked friend of Donnie"s.
"Donnie, where"s the laughing gas you promised? I haven"t inhaled in two weeks," moaned Neslie.
Jim laughed forcefully, with obvious tension in his voice.
"I don"t have laughing gas. I have something better."
"I need booze now! I"m stressed out!" screamed Tommy.
shoulders went 8 flights down on the elevator of anxiety.
While Donnie poured the drinks, his eyes squinted at the clown.
need to drink too. You"re killing the vibe. I have to make a phone call,"
said the pregnant girl as she disappeared.
The clown"s eyes darted towards the hallway.
"I have to take a piss. I"ll be back."
after Jim"s face lit up, he was disrupted by a whiny mouse voice.
Tiffany"s eyes widened to the size of fine china dinner plates when she entered the laundry room.
"What did you do to my cat? You"re a monster. You rape teenagers and have sex with dead cats."
As Tiffany started her emotional breakdown, her hands independent of her mind reached for a gun from the closet. Sadly today wasn"t her day though since the gun backfired on her.
"Thank god women don"t know how to fire guns," sighed Jolly Jim in relief. His inflated ego made him not hear the garage door open or the footsteps walk towards the laundry room where the pregnant Tiffany lay dead with the mutilated Mrs. Fuzzy Pie.
"Yep. I"ve got nothing to worry about."
"Nope, but I can. I didn"t want to be a grandfather yet!"
Jolly Jim darted at Jared with his blood stained knife and manic facial expression. Jolly Jim"s raving lunacy was no match for Jared though who simply stepped out of the way, leaving the clown"s knife lodged in the laundry room closet door.
"Tiffany? My baby girl. Are you okay?"
Tiffany"s body did not move.
"You see this? You killed my daughter, you killed a cat and you had sex with a teenager. If I had a choice, you would get so much more than just jail time."
I suppose that eating cats is fun for you?" mocked Jared in complete
Jared rocketed at Jolly Jim with the knife, ready to kill.
crazy. Jail might be too sane for you" hissed Jared in sheer anger and
Jim licked Jared"s face and gnashed his teeth, ready to embrace his cannibalistic side, but Jared pulled the trigger. Instead of a bleeding carcass, there were many dead rat babies.
"Tiffany. You're alive!"
"No duh. What are you going to do with these dead rats?"
am gonna take them to the dump."
January 10th, Tiffany was extremely hungry. She drove to Taco
Bell and bought cheesy gordita crunches, but instead of getting that delicious
mouthwatering taste of fake meat, her skin started to shiver. She looked
outside and saw a cat, and then that pregnant girl inexplicably ran after
it with foam drizzling down her face like a rabid dog. She stabbed the
cat with her spork, and she dined on cat flesh for dessert.